Rae and Finn Drabbles
by puppyloveclub
Summary: Just filling in the Finn/Rae blanks...
1. Maybe, I don't want to be your friend

The sound of Izzie snoring lightly on the floor at the foot of the bed woke Finn early the next morning. Last night, he had just closed his eyes for a moment. He hadn't wanted to sleep because he hadn't wanted that night to be over. But the emotions of it all had caught up to him. He blinked and it was morning.

Now the sun was rising and peeking through the window in thin stripes. He was amazed that she was still here. Sleeping on her side with her hands folded under the pillow. The pink duvet wrapped loosely around her, unfortunately, shielded most of her face from his view.

"_Oh shit, I'm in Rae's bed!_" Finn screamed in his head. He was lying on his back and trying not to move or jostle her in any way.

When Rae had found him in her mother's room, he was embarrassed. A girl had never seen him cry. Chop had never even seen him cry. Well, now that he thought about it, it had been a long while since he'd cried at all. So that was why it was so surprising that he didn't mind Rae finding him there. He didn't really want to be alone with this news. His Gran was gone. He should have been there when she passed, not at a party, drinking beer while his mates snogged in different combinations and he fought with Rae.

He was glad to not have to tell Rae what happened with she walked in her mum's room. She understood and the argument from earlier didn't matter to anyone anymore.

As Finn laid there listening to her breathing, his mind wandered back to their minute in the landing cupboard. She had seemed so upset but it didn't make sense. She was the one being rude. She was the one saying that she didn't want to be his friend. Why would she say that with such a sad look in her eyes?

"Maybe I don't want to be your friend," he reran it.

"Maybe I don't want to be your _friend_," the sentence changed just a touch the second time.

Rae was so confusing to him. Well, no, that's not right. He understood Rae. But being around Rae made Finn feel so confused about himself. After everything that happened last night, he lied in this bed next to her and was more baffled than ever. _What was it about this girl?_

In a daring move, he slowly rotated his body inside his sleeping bag onto his side to face her. He paused for a moment to hear her slow breaths then carefully and slowly pulled the corner of the duvet back to reveal her sleeping face. As the sunbeams gleaming though the window grew thicker, he noticed how it illuminated her dark hair to shine with surprising shades of gold and red.

Rae wasn't a girl who a lot of blokes noticed in first passing. Finn knew that but didn't mind because he always saw her. When he was honest with himself, he knew he was attracted to her. She was funny and smart and her big eyes sparkled when she laughed. She didn't blend into the background like she thought she did. She was soft in a way that kept him up at night. He knew she was self-conscious about not looking like Chloe or Izzie or the girls from college. But Rae looked like a woman.

As he watched her sleep, he was torn. Part of him was mesmerized by the gentleness of being so near to her in such a vulnerable state. He could have lied here for hours but she wouldn't like that she was so exposed. Another part of him wanted to wake her up. Talk to her again and see if they could start from the spot they left off. See if it felt like it did last night.

The loudest part of him was so drawn to touch her that his fingertips itched. He pulled his arm out of the warm sleeping bag but clutched it close to his chest as if it had a mind of its own.

He'd like to touch her cheek. Felt how soft the skin is there. He'd like to graze her bottom lip, so plump and red. He couldn't even think about how much he would like to run his hand down the length of her side. Even over the duvet, the curves of her figure would have surely created a new problem in the already crowded bed.

Unable to help himself, he propped his body up on one elbow. He stretched his neck and looked at the floor to confirm that Izzie was still asleep down there. Then he started inching closer and closer to Rae's sleeping form, closing the small gap that still existed between friends. He was playing a dangerous game but he couldn't stop now.

When their bodies, well, his sleeping bag and her duvet, were in contact, Finn hovered over her for a long moment. He was close enough to feel her body's warmth and smell the vanilla that must have been her shampoo. He brought his hand to Rae's face and used the very tip of one index finger to lightly brush a strand of hair off her forehead. Incredibly slowly, he then leaned over to place a featherweight kiss on her temple.

The second his lips left her skin, he jumped as a soft "Finn?" fell from Rae's mouth.

"_FUCK_," Finn scrambled silently and squeezed his eyes shut, "_I am such a scumbag_."

But when she was silent again, he looked down at her and discovered that she was still sound asleep. Finn collapsed onto his pillow and took a deep breath of relief.

"_She was asleep_," he told himself, "_Thank god, she was asleep_."

Still on his side facing her, Finn decided he should stay out of trouble and get some more rest. He closed his eyes and was just starting to drift off when a thought struck him and stirred him back to life, "_Wait, she was asleep! She said my name in her sleep…"_

"Maybe I don't want to be your _friend_," he remembered and burrowed his face deep into the pillow, hoping to contain his smile.


	2. Wonderwall

"So, what now?" Finn smiled shyly.

I could tell he was nervous but he didn't avoid my eyes.

I watched him for a long moment and shrugged, "Walk me back to the pub? My mum will be looking for me."

Finn nodded and we both turned away from the chippy and started towards the party. My eyes were glued to the ground just in front of us as we walked. My Chuck Taylors kept slow pace with his black leather boots which were doubling as dress shoes for the wedding. As I counted our 27th step, Finn's slightly calloused fingers, grazed mine, bringing me to gasp more audibly than is ideal.

Finn turned to me and laughed my name. I shook my head at my inevitably awkward self but was soothed by his smile. He looked down at my hand then back at my eyes, silently but obviously asking permission this time. How does he know how to do that?

I didn't know what signal girls send to boys to tell them "_Please try again. I am not a complete bloody loser_." But the thought that he may never actually try again was terrifying, so I blurted, "Here," and jerked my hand into his, interlocking our fingers.

Finn sighed and we walked the rest of the way in silence, sharing occasional glances and shy smiles.

As we approached the pub, we discovered a crowd had gathered just outside the door. People were smoking, drinking, and chatting in the night air. It appeared that the party had become quite lively inside.

I followed Finn closely as he bobbed between the sweaty, formally-dressed party-goers but in the bustle of the crowd, our hands broke apart.

We pushed into the rowdy, humid pub and hurried over to the booth where our friends were seated. Their eyes were on the stage area, where Chop had taken control of the DJ's equipment to make his superior song choices. Chloe and Izzie sat off to one side, laughing and gossiping closely under the blast of the music.

I slid gracelessly into the bench seat, next to Archie, who looked up from his nearly empty pint. Finn sat beside me and scoffed at Chop arguing with the DJ over his equipment.

Without Finn's hand around mine, I suddenly had no idea what to do with my arms. I crossed my arms under the swell of my bust, which seemed to only amplify my overwhelming cleavage in the blue dress.

Finn leaned into my side and whispered so closely I could feel his breath in my ear, "Are you cold? I can give you my coat."

I stared at him for a moment, my mouth surely hanging open, and then shook my head violently. He nodded in his shy Finn way and lit a cigarette from the breast pocket of his denim jacket.

_I wish_, I thought. It's not the fact that this pub feels like a tropical rainforest keeping me from that coat. I just don't think it would fit me. And if it didn't fit, then Finn would see and take back everything.

Then Finn flicked his ash to his left side, away from my dress, and leaned into my side again.

"I'll be back in a few," he said, and we both turned to fully look at each other. This was surely the closest we had ever been. We held eye contact for another long moment, then he stood and went directly towards Chop.

My body unclenched and I threw my head back against the wall in relief. I had no idea I could be so full of tension _and_ bliss. Archie must have noticed the release in me because he laughed and patted my knee under the table.

He knew. Of course, he knew.

I sighed and leaned my head against his shoulder. "You know I have no idea what I'm doing," I said. We watched Finn say something into the DJ's ear before handing Chop a cigarette and cradling his shoulder to lead him towards the bar.

"Here's the secret truth, Rae," Archie answered. "None of us do."

I kissed his cheek and he smiled down at me but I could tell he was feeling that growing-up-in-Lincolnshire melancholy that I knew all too well.

I noticed my mum and Kareem on the opposite side of the room, laughing loudly with my Chemistry teacher and my childhood dentist. _The whole bloody town is here_, I thought. I hope they have more to talk about than my knowledge of the Periodic Table or my aversion to floss.

"Hey, Izzie!" Chop yelled as he came towards our table with two very full pints of beer. Obviously plastered for the second day in a row, he grinned widely and handed an equally smiley Izzie one of the drinks. Finn came next, mirroring the same dance with two more glasses filled to the brim. He took a seat so our sides were touching, inhaled a mouthful from one pint, and placed the other in front of me on the table.

"Thirsty?" Finn asked me, not realizing that this move had drawn Chloe's full attention.

"Yah," I replied and downed a big swig of the cold beer. I had to lean forward a bit to confirm but, as suspected, Chloe was staring at me with a face that I couldn't quite read. She had said that I was "welcome to him"but that didn't mean I believed her.

Still making eye contact, I shrugged at Chloe, honestly not knowing what exactly was happening here myself. To my surprise, she smiled and nodded. Maybe, like Archie, she'd known for a while. Maybe she was just getting older and finding out things don't always go as we planned. Maybe we all were.

Maybe it was a trick and she planned to clobber me in the toilet. Only time would tell.

We all sat in the odd sort of silence produced by blaring dance music. As one song came to a close, the DJ grabbed the microphone and took to the makeshift stage area.

"How is everyone enjoying the music so far, eh?" he asked energetically and the crowd cheered. "We're going to slow it down a bit now, since we've had a request." He turned towards our table and waved at Finn. Finn responded with a nod and the gang stared at him in confusion. He stood up as the song began and we all recognized an Oasis anthem.

_Today is gonna be the day that they're gonna throw it back to you  
By now you should've somehow realized what you gotta do  
I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now_

"Rae?" he asked, turning to face me, "Will ya dance with me?"

I felt like every eye in the pub was on me. Hell, they probably were; I had just confessed all my darkest secrets to nearly everyone I know.

"Yes," I smiled nervously and slid out of the booth, grasping his outstretched hand and following him slowly to the middle of the room.

My mum stood for a moment and watched us cross the pub. She smiled at me and turned back to her conversation, letting me have this moment without her.

A few other couples had approached the dance floor, but I still felt the room focused on me. Were they waiting for me to fuck this up? To make a fool of myself? Or maybe, just maybe, they were happy for me in this moment.

_Backbeat the word is on the street that the fire in your heart is out  
I'm sure you've heard it all before but you never really had a doubt  
I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now_

Finn stopped and faced me. He didn't seem nervous anymore. He pulled me close to him and wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his hands at the small of my back. I reached up and draped my arms around his neck. He smiled so brightly as we began to sway to the familiar song with brand new meaning.

_And all the roads we have to walk are winding  
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding  
There are many things that I would like to say to you but I don't know how_

After a minute, I wasn't worried about who was watching. As far as I knew, we were the only two people in the room. The only two people in Lincolnshire.

We twirled slowly, and my instincts took over. I shifted even nearer to Finn and nuzzled my nose into the side of his neck. He smelled like chips and hand-rolled cigarettes. His breath was warm on my cheek and I could not remember nor imagine any other moment in my life meaning any more than this.

Finn brought one hand up to the top of my back and it took me a moment to realize he was twirling a strand of hair that had come free from my ponytail. I sank into him as he almost inaudibly hummed the last chorus and I prayed for an encore.

_Because maybe_  
_You're gonna be the one that saves me_  
_And after all_  
_You're my wonderwall_


	3. The End of the Night

By 11 o'clock, my mum was so sloshed that she and Kareem had to leave early from their own wedding reception. After that, the party started to die down. The gang sat in our usual booth, unintentionally entertained by Chop's rage about being banned from the DJ booth. Chloe had slipped out about an hour earlier, explaining her departure with some bollocks about family plans in the morning.

At this point, Chop was very, very drunk and slouched in the booth with an arm wrapped around Izzy.

"That knobhead wouldn't know good music if he-" he stopped completely when Izzy whispered something into his ear.

Finn and I sat next to them. Our hands had been in continuous contact since we finished dancing. It was quite hot in the pub and my hands were clammy against Finn's but we didn't let go.

At the end of a Squeeze song that Finn had whispered to identify to me as his dad's favorite, the music stopped and the lights turned on.

I would have done anything to keep that night from ending. Finn and I were holding hands. In public! We had danced for 6 songs. Two of them were slow. He kept throwing me these different smiles and they were making me crazy. Shy, nervous smiles. Warm, comforting smiles. Cheeky, blush-inducing smiles. I kept thinking about an illustrated copy of Cinderella that Chloe and I read a thousand times as girls and how midnight meant the end of magic.

11:43.

We were amongst the last people in the pub. Archie stood up and grabbed his jacket from the back of his chair.

"I'm off," he announced and forced a smile towards the four of us, paired off in a way that hadn't existed when we walked in the doors that day. He waved as he walked for the door and winked in my direction.

As Archie exited, we noticed that the humidity had finally broken into heavy rain.

"Oh great," I sighed, remembering that I didn't have a stitch of clothing to cover this expensive gown my mother had bought me.

Finn squeezed my hand a bit and leaning into my shoulder asked, "What are we going to do with these two then?" Peeking over his shoulder, I spotted Chop and Izzy eagerly snogging.

I smiled at them then back at Finn, "Izzy hasn't really had much to drink. She's just drunk on Chop."

Finn nodded with one of the cheeky smiles, "I'm familiar."

"You're drunk on Chop, too?" I joked.

He shook his head and grinned.

"Alright, out with ya's," the pub's owner Patrick announced from behind the bar.

I realized we were officially the last people in the pub and stood up, pulling Finn with me.

"Oi! You,two!" I practically shouted at Chop and Izzy. Finn clapped his hands a few times. They stopped kissing to look at us.

"Pub's closed," Finn said.

Izzy giggled and they stood so we all could collect ourselves and leave. The front door of the place had been propped open to let in a breeze.

"Ya ready?" Chop asked Izzy at the door's threshold, the fresh air seemed to have sobered him a bit. The two of them grew up just three houses apart. Izzy nodded giddily and waved to me before Chop pulled her out into the rain.

Finn and I stood in the door and watched them until they disappeared into the darkness.

"Can I walk ya home, Rae?" Finn asked and grabbed my hand again.

Shaking my head, I told him "You really don't have to. It's out of your way."

_"__PLEASE",_ he wrote into my forearm with his free hand's index finger.

I accepted with a shrug of my shoulders and a grin.

He stepped into the rain and pulling me with him like Chop had just done with Izzy.

The rain was pretty torrential. Puddles were forming on the sidewalks and streams of water had started running through the street. Despite the rain, Finn and I still walked at an easy pace the whole distance to my house.

As we approached my door, I think we started moving even slower, to delay the goodbye.

My house was dark. Mum and Karim had certainly passed out after the wild festivities of the evening.

At the door, I turned to face Finn, "_Don't leave. Don't leave. Don't leave,_" I thought over and over.

An apologetic look in his eyes, he started to say "Well, I guess I—"

"Don't leave," I said out loud.

"I don't want to," he said sweetly and quietly.

"Will your dad be expecting you?" I asked.

Finn shrugged his honest indifference.

Overcome with a rush of courage, I held my finger to my lips to ensure his silence. I pulled the door open and hurried across the living room and up the stairs, tugging Finn behind me. When we were safely in my room, Finn shut the door and I turned on the lamp near my bed.

"_Oh fuck, we're in my room. Finn said he loves me and we're in my room_," I shrieked internally.

He removed his drenched denim jacket and put it on the back of a chair. With his arms folded awkwardly across his chest, Finn explored my room, like it was his first time there. He moved slowly and examined every photo and poster, smiling at what he saw every now and then.

Intrigued by his behavior, I kicked my shoes off in the corner. I sat on my bed a pulled my long skirt up high above my knees, gathering it into a bunch to wring out all the water and muck it had collected on the trip home. Leaning forward a bit, I peeled off my right sock and then my left. When I looked up, Finn was looking at me from across the room. Really looking at me.

I realized at that instant that my scars were entirely visible. As I fumbled to pull the wet material of my dress over my thighs, Finn charged across the room to sit beside me on the bed.

"No," he said powerfully enough to stop my movements, "I mean… please don't."

He slid closer to me and looked me in the eyes. I'm sure I looked nervous. Terrified, really. He shouldn't have wanted to see that part of me. I didn't want to show him but we were here and the look in his eyes was so curious and reassuring. I didn't want to deny him, but surely he didn't know what was really underneath, what I was capable of and what I would carry with me forever.

I took a deep, uneven breath and pulled the skirt back a bit, revealing a large section of my thick, pale, hideous thighs. Finn just sat and stared at my legs for a full minute. Eventually, moving with slow deliberation, he tenderly ran his fingers along a raised, pink scar. Then another, and another.

After he had touched several of my marks, he turned his eyes to my face and found the tears flooding my sight.

Seeing that, Finn turned back to my legs and used his finger to write across the scars on one thigh, "PERFECT." When I rolled my eyes and scoffed aloud, he moved his finger to the other leg and wrote, "TO ME."

Then he sat up and waited for me to react or reply. I sat with my eyes glued to my thighs, the part of me I hated most, with the invisible path of Finn's words burned into my line of vision.

Sucking in a big gasp of air, I turned to him, preparing to clarify it all. Give him some logic to explain away the evidence of my madness. But before I could say a word, Finn leaned into me and kissed me, not asking for my reasons.

When he brushed his hands across my wet cheeks and traced a soft line down the skin behind my ear, I sank further into his lips and let myself live in his comfort for a bit.

By the time Finn climbed out my window, it was nearly 3 in the morning. I still didn't want this night to be over but I also wasn't so afraid for tomorrow to start.


End file.
